Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3:E14 Smashley Recap

I’m running out of sailing pics, you guys! C’mon Below Deck Sailing Yacht, do something fancy so I can use that instead! Okay so maybe we’re in the middle of a sailing race so whatever. Rolling into my recap of Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3:E14 Smashley after the break!

We open with Captain Glenn Shephard racing the Parsifal III against ship La Cattiva; will our luxury sailing yacht win the regatta or will Primary Charter Guest Keely Washburn, guest Jess Cimato and the rest of their friends regret giving up chef Marcos Spaziani‘s delicious breakfast for naught??

It is not for naught! They almost lose but Captain Glenn pulls it off at the finish line and the guests are super happy.

My favourite part is when two ladies do the splits in the hallway together and almost see Jesus. They broke something and it wasn’t their bathing suits!

The interior staff didn’t engage much with the race, except to pick up all the stuff rolling around because of the heel of the yacht. Chief steward Daisy Kelliher is already dreading the crew night out this evening. She’s got a bit of a crush on First Mate Gary King who’s been doing his level best to bounce on every female coworker around and enjoying fantastic success along the way.

Mystifyingly so.

Newest junior steward Scarlett Bentley is the latest to bear the brunt of his charm but old junior steward Ashley Marti isn’t giving up on Gary any time soon. Chief Engineer Colin MacRae advises Gary to warn Ashley ahead of time as to what she’s about to witness, does anyone think that will help? Last time she spent the whole night screaming on about Gary’s PENIS being in her VAGINA!! SHE REMEMBERS!!

She told us 11 millionty times.

This charter has to be done first, and now it is. One last dock goodbye, one large tip envelope and it’s deuces, ladies!

Before we know it, we’re in the main salon for a tip meeting; stop yakkin’, Captain Glenn and show us the tip!! Oh. It’s not that great considering there was a race and a ten course meal; only $16,400 so $1,820 each. Huh. I mean. It’s good considering the guests were there for basically 48 hours but.

Most of the crew slags off after the meeting, Gary takes Ashley aside for a chat to talk about their ‘us.’ Not that there is an US, he’s quick to point out but still. She complains that it’s a respect thing but he brings up her kissing him then screwing another crew member 20 minutes after so…

I think she thinks it’s different because she would have much rather have been screwing Gary every single time but he kept turning her down and she had to find…gap-fillers.

She’s just young and immature and maybe really used to getting her own way and all the attention she wants from whomever she wants it from. This is not that place, that time or that show.

That must be frustrating, she should get drunk, spout off a bunch of shite and talk about how mature she is.

Whew I need to walk around the block, she’s just trying to get through some uncomfortable feelings without a lot of tools or support, I need to calm down.

Ashley should…probably not drink.

Ashley is totally gonna drink.

Ashley goes back to her room fuming while roommate Scarlett rolls her eyes and tries to keep her patience. I dunno, is it condescending for Gary to point out the double standards Ashley believes in? Scarlett’s already tired of Ashley and she just got there!

Everyone looks amazing dressed up for a night out, new deckie Barnaby Birkbeck lurves hearing Gary and Scarlett discussing their situation. Gary thinks he’s in love, Scarlett’s more worried about Ashley being a dick so it looks like Ashley got what she wanted after all!

Okay and then things go right sideways when somehow Daisy and Scarlett get into a fight, I don’t even know what they’re arguing about!



Why is Scarlett so angry at Daisy, who is warning her about Gary? Oh no. Is Scarlett one of those women who take everything another woman tells them as jealousy??

Scarlett ends up crying; she thought Daisy was coming at her. Daisy goes outside with her and apologizes for upsetting her and ends up feeling terrible about it. Barnaby comes out of NOWHERE, consoles Daisy and then asks for kisses later in the van home!


I love the van ride everyone else is having, deckhand Kelsie Golgia lets one rip and everyone in that van tries to climb out the windows to escape the smell. Marcos: ‘you have a dead person inside your body!!” Hahahahahaha

It’s so much fun when they get back to the Parsifal III; everyone gets in bathing suits and heads on deck to get in and out of the hot tub a dozen times each.

Gary and Scarlett dance and kiss; Gary heading to the bar where Daisy is sort of wrapped around Marcos in a friendly fashion. I would absolutely let Marcos carry me across a room while I clung to him like a geriatric redhaired koala bear, hellz yeah.

As usual, Gary flirts all over Daisy while drunk; she is still annoyed over making Scarlett feel bad and her heart isn’t in their bantz. He goes back out on deck to kiss Scarlett; Kelsie sums it up perfectly. It’s natural that Scarlett is drawn to Gary because he’s being super nice and giving her all the attention. Once she realises it’s just to carve another notch on his belt, it won’t be so awesome because they will still have to work together after that. Which is why Daisy was warning her but of course Scarlett doesn’t think Gary is doing that with her.

Not with HER.


Gary asks Scarlett to have sex with him, she’s out.

Woooooo Scarlett, setting those boundaries, yay!

She’s super perky the next morning, Daisy and Ashley are tired and still drunk in contrast. Captain Glenn takes a look at the *boat radar thingy?* and heads to protected water, away from the windy dock.

Daisy argues with Colin that she isn’t jealous about Gary, she’s just annoyed and ready to be out of his drama! Then goes and kisses Gary on the Bridge because she clearly doesn’t have any romantic interest in him at all.

I guess they got an extra day to clean, yay! So we’re in the ocean and it’s time for a preference sheet meeting, yay!

Who’s coming??!?

Our Primary Charter Guest will be Lane Merrifield whaaaat he’s from Canada!! BC, even! I’m from BC! But then they say he runs a start-up between California and Alberta and I’M in Alberta right now! *Gasp* Where in Alberta??? What kind of start-up? Is it Cannabis? I bet it’s cannabis. Or CBD Oil. Are those start-ups? I don’t know but there are a lot of them.

Lane’s fianceé Amanda Bourke will be joining Lane as well as their friends to celebrate their engagement. Lane (apparently we’re on a first name basis now) is a big fan of molecular gastronomy so expect a lot of amaranth foam from Marcos. He’s looking forward to the challenge!

He stays up late working in his menu; it involves drawing and practicing techniques he hasn’t used for a long time. “Looking forward’ may have been overstating that a bit.

Charter Day wooooo! Let’s meet my fellow Canucks! First we get provisions of all the weird things Marcos needs to pull off his weird food, it’s so strange for them to be at sea and everything, including guests eventually, coming via tender.

Guest arrival goes smoothly; everyone looks young and rich and friendly. Daisy leads a boat tour while the deckhands head back to dock to grab luggage and Marcos begins the long road towards a very difficult dinner.

Captain Glenn breaks the news to all the fellow Canadians; the guests are not going to get much sailing today or tomorrow because of the weather. Being that everyone is super polite, they take it well and Captain Glenn assures them they’ll still have a good time.


Ashley brings drinks to everyone on the bunnypad/deck; as she walks away they decide she’s a ‘Smashley’, guaranteed she likes to let loose.

How do they know???

Have they been watching the show??

When they tell her that at lunch, she tells them she fell on her face out of her bunk, but was ‘sh*tfaced’ so whatever.

Daisy calls her over immediately, don’t talk like that in front of the guests!! Anyone in high end customer service is completely aghast right now. Okay, Daisy just reminds her to be professional, but that’s what she meant!

So they can’t sail but they can swing off the end of a rope swing into the ocean! So many of the guests try it, good for them! It looks tricky.

Marcos is exhausted already and he’s not even done anything serious yet; but he stayed up until 2 am the night before planning. He gets a text in the afternoon; his friend Juan Carlos’s mom has died.

I gather that’s like his brother who lost his mother; his head is immediately out of the kitchen and back with his friends and family. He tries and tries to phone home but the reception is terrible and call after call drops.

With that, we’re out and I hope Marcos will be okay! I think deckhand Tom had that exact same thing happen, didn’t he? Well, maybe not exactly the same but a friend’s family and I hope they’ll both be alright. Cheers, everyone.