Let’s see what Luci’s up to this week, no good I’m guessing!

Lucifer S1:E5 Sweet Kicks Starts now!

Lucifer and Maze are front row at a Benny Choi fashion show featuring models in their underwear, body art and not much else.  “I very much approve of Benny’s avant garde approach to clothing,” Lucifer says to Maze, “The models don’t appear to be wearing any.” “The Benny Choi brand isn’t about the clothes, it’s the shoes,” she replies, “6G’s a pair” A model stops in front of Lucifer and mimes cutting his throat with a sword, “Ooh hello, dangerous,” he says, “Lucifer likes.” Maze reminds him that he was shot and he bled, no more sharp objects for Lucifer until they find out what is going on. Lucifer tells her he likes the thrill of mortality and heads off after the model.

The show ends and Benny Choi comes out on the runway for his applause, while Lucifer and the model go at it out the back amidst the hangers. Shots ring out from the crowd, seemingly directed at Benny. The crowds panics and runs, and Maze comes to find Lucifer, “You need to leave” she tells him, “What’s the rush, it’s just getting exciting!” he replies. They start to make their way out, shots are still being fired out the front and Benny Choi is ushered out surrounded by security guards. Unfortunately, there has been one casualty, a girl has been trampled to death in the panic, “People really do kill for Benny’s shoes,” says Lucifer.

At the LAPD office, Chloe is consoling the girl’s mother and promised she will find out what caused her death. Detective Dan the Douche tells Chloe that he is happy to take the case. It seems like every case Chloe works on lately turns into a shootout with Lucifer by her side. She tells him Lucifer was a mystery she wanted solved, “I can think of a few other choice names,” says Dan. “Yeah, how about a complete whack job,” she replies, “Don’t worry, Lucifer Morningstar is completely out of my life.”

Dan signals that she should turn around and look behind her, and there’s Lucifer playing handcuffs with a young, pretty officer. “Please tell me I am hallucinating,” Chloe says to Lucifer. “Well, I am dreamy but try and contain yourself.” She asks what he is doing, and he tells her that he is here to see her boss, not her. Chloe panics and thinks he is going to tell her boss about her shooting him, “Mr. Morningstar, I can see you now,” the Lieutenant, “Splendid, we’ve got so much to talk about”, Lucifer replies, winding Chloe up and limping into her office.

Lucifer tells the Lieutenant that he was a witness to the shooting at Benny’s and he wants in on the investigation. He’s had a taste of danger and he wants more, this case will give him a chance to explore his mortality. He gets her to tell him her desires, and she tells him she wants to be Chief of Police, but needs a big close first. She will never be successful without the support of the minority communities. He makes a deal that if he’s allowed to help, he will deliver all the support she needs.

They leave the office and go to talk to Chloe who is still on edge, waiting to get disciplined for shooting Lucifer. “Lucifer Morningstar has volunteered to act as liaison in the Cortez case, you’re welcome Decker,” the Lieutenant tells her. Chloe turns to have a word with Lucifer, but he has already found his officer friend and now has her gun out waving it around. “That whack job is gonna get me killed,” Chloe says to herself.

Lucifer and Chloe talk about their new partnership, “Partners? More like glorified ride-along,” Chloe says. “Just think, you and me, close proximity at all times,” Lucifer replies, “Yeah, in LA we call that stalking,” she retorts. “It’s wonderful isn’t it? When do I get my own gun?” asks Lucifer. “If I’m going to work with you, I call the shots,” says Chloe. “You most certainly do, right in the leg,” replies Lucifer.

Lucifer tells Chloe how excited he is to put himself in harm’s way, “It’s the perfect opportunity to see what other mortal qualities I have.” “Okay I get it, you want to feel new things,” Chloe says and slaps him in the face, “How was that?” “Bloody hell, that hurt! Do it again!” Lucifer exclaims.

At Benny Choi’s house, Lucifer and Chloe arrive and Benny greets him warmly. Benny introduces them to his pet pig, Pig Diddy, and his assistant Hector. Lucifer comments on Hector’s tattoo “Does someone love his mummy?” “Ex-marine bitch,” Hector snaps. Lucifer explains to Chloe that he knows Benny from way back when he was first getting started. Lucifer did him a few favours and helped him get on his way to being successful. Chloe asks him if he knows who would take a shot at him, and Benny tells her that even if he did know he wouldn’t tell her. Lucifer calls in his favour, and tells Benny to talk to Chloe. Benny does, and tells them that Hector clashed with gang members from the Latin Kings on the door to the show. Benny chose not to get involved as he was a member of the Asian Boys gang himself back in the day and does not want to get involved in a turf war. Hector gives them a couple of names, Diego and Dani.

Chloe rips Lucifer a new one for not telling her about knowing Benny Choi and the favours he did for him, “Would you like a peek at my ledger?” says Lucifer. Lucifer suggests they hit the local cop bar and discuss their differing views on police work. Chloe tells him to forget it, they have work to do, plus they’re on duty. “You are the oldest young person I have ever met, and coming from an immortal, that’s saying something,” Lucifer tells her. Chloe tells him she’s not going to drink in a bar where everyone hates her, after voicing suspicions about a dirty cop. “Come on! Besides, I need something to dull the pain,” Lucifer says, grabbing his leg.

They get to the Paddock Bar and get lots of whispers and insults on the way in. Lucifer orders two shots and Chloe tries to work out what the story is with the favours. Is he a loan shark, con man? Lucifer asks if she has never heard of a deal with the Devil? People come looking for a favour, he grants them more often than not, and unless there is something in particular Lucifer wants, he accepts payment at a later date. “Who would take a deal like that?” asks Chloe. “They all do,” replies Lucifer. Another detective comes over to the bar, grabs his beer from in between them, calls Chloe a bitch, and walks off. Chloe has a shot, and then explains that the situation with the dirty cop that made everyone hate her. “Ah, so you’re a snitch, a narc, no wonder nobody likes you!” says Lucifer. “You know what they say, snitches end up in ditches.” “Oh, thanks man,” replies Chloe, “I feel so much better.”

Lucifer gets up, “Still, no excuse for that man’s rudeness!” Chloe tries to stop him but Lucifer heads over to the Detective and his cronies. “What do you want?” says the Detective. “Well, let me firstly state that I am in no way sticking up for my associate Detective Decker, but on behalf of myself and only myself, I think you’re a complete sack of arse.” And snots him one, right on the nose.

Maze is in a cafe, meeting Amenadiel for a coffee. He is in human form, no slowing of time, no robes, just a sharp suit. Maze tells him that she wants to come home, and Amenadiel asks her for something he can use against Lucifer to get him to go back. Maze tells him that Lucifer doesn’t confide in her anymore, but he does talk to his therapist, Linda. “Tell me about this doctor,” says Amenadiel.

Linda is leaving her office for the night, when she hears a noise suspiciously like wings. She asks who is there, but getting no reply, leaves and goes to lock the door. “I know Krav Maga!” she yells to the empty corridor. She rounds the corner to the elevator and comes across Amenadiel, waiting for her. he introduces himself as a doctor who has moved into the office next door.

At Lux, Maze tries once more to talk some sense into Lucifer about the danger he is getting himself into. “Since when did Hell’s favourite torturer become my mother?” says Lucifer. Maze tells him that her purpose is to protect him, but Lucifer thinks that she is just jealous of his partnership with Chloe. “Maybe next time, I won’t be around to save your ass,” says Maze. “That is a shame, because you and my backside used to get on very well. My front side as well, actually.

Detective Dan arrives and tells Lucifer he has convinced the other Detective not to press charges. Lucifer tells him that drinking on duty is a big no-no, but he’ll let it slide this time. Dan fronts up to him, “Hmm, is it my thanks you want? Or a kiss?” Dan tells him he doesn’t want his thanks, he wants him to keep Chloe safe, not get her involved in more danger.

In East Los Angeles, Chloe has tracked down Diego and Dani Ramirez. Chloe tells Lucifer they need to do things by the book, and he tells her she sounds just like her ex. “You talked to Dan?” says Chloe. “He dropped by Lux, kept rambling on about keeping you safe. Quite condescending if you ask me.” he replies. “What is it with the men in my life?” says Chloe. “I’m a man in your life?” asks Lucifer, pleased. Chloe gets out of the car, locking Lucifer in and telling him if he acts like a child, he’ll get treated like one. “Isn’t it illegal to leave your child locked in a car?” yells Lucifer as she walks away.

Chloe bangs on the door, announcing herself, but no answer. She hears a sudden scream, and kicks the door in. Diego and Dani are in bed, freaking out at spotting Lucifer sitting in the corner of their bedroom. “How did you get out of the car?” asks Chloe. “Child’s play. Good thing I did, there was immediate danger. He was about to leave this woman completely unsatisfied,” he replies. Dani is furious and threatens to sue the LAPD, for Lucifer breaking in. They question them about the fashion show, and they say they only wanted to get in to get some sweet kicks. The girl that got killed was Diego’s cousin, they’re as upset as anyone. “Sorry, is that flop sweat, or is it a tear?” says Lucifer. “Bloody hell, this is our bad guy? No wonder he can’t get it up.”

They ask if they know who did the shooting, and they tell him that it might be Yellow Viper. “Yellow Viper, sounds like a venereal disease”, says Lucifer. He’s a guy known to Benny, who just got out of jail. They were friends as up and coming graffiti artists back in the day, then Viper took the fall for a B&E. “He got five and change, while Benny got rich and famous,” says Dani. As they leave, Chloe gets a message from Benny. “Someone else is dead,” Chloe tells Lucifer.

They go to Benny’s studio, and find a pool of blood. Lucifer has a taste “Definitely blood, but curiously not human.” They round the corner, and find Benny sobbing over the body of Pig Diddy. “Bacon for dinner, I guess,” says Lucifer. “And my deepest condolences, Benny.” Benny tells them that he and Hector went to an opening and found Pig Diddy dead when they got back. Lucifer tells Benny about Yellow Viper, and Benny tells them how he wrote to him in prison and sent money. Neither of which he would accept. Chloe tells him they’ll send a patrol to watch him tonight, in case Viper comes by again. “They really don’t make bad guys like they used to,” says Lucifer, “But finally some real action, I’m more than ready to face the danger of the notorious Yellow Viper.”

Amenadiel appears in Linda’s office, asking her for a drink. He tells her he is having problems with a patient and needs some advice. She tells him she understands, she has one troublesome patient in particular. “You share with me, I share with you, a fluid exchange,” says Amenadiel. You can actually see the images going through Linda’s mind right now, “Maybe one drink,” she says.

“Seriously, a community centre! This is where we’ll find the deadly Yellow Viper? After five years behind bars a brothel would be my go to,” says Lucifer. Chloe has worked out that the favour that Lucifer did for Benny. It was helping to get Benny off the B&E charge. Unbeknownst to Lucifer, this also meant that Yellow Viper took the fall. Lucifer refuses to take responsibility, that whatever happens after the favour has nothing to do with him. Yellow Viper is teaching a street art class to several teenagers when Lucifer and Chloe find him. “Teaching art to youngsters? This bad guy thing is getting beyond a joke. What’s next? Cuddles and ice cream?” says Lucifer. Yellow Viper refuses to talk to them, telling them he doesn’t talk to cops and heads back to his students. “He really seems to care about those kids,” says Lucifer, “Odd for a criminal, or anyone really.”

Three cars arrive and it’s Diego, Dani and the Latin Kings come to get their revenge for Paola Cortez’s death. Chloe and Lucifer stand between the two groups, “Our lucky day, Viper and the perv,” says Dani, meaning Lucifer. Chloe tries to talk them down, while Lucifer tries to encourage them. The Latin Kings end up drawing their guns on Lucifer, Chloe and Yellow Viper, not caring if they have to take them all out. Viper tries to protect the kids, while Lucifer starts to distract them. “Those trousers, I mean you wear them so low that your arse is exposed to other naughty men, and we know what kind of danger that can bring. I mean, you could park your bike in there!” Diego loses it at Lucifer, and Viper manages to get himself and the kids out while they’re distracted. “Don’t matter,” says Diego, pointing his gun at Lucifer, “I’ll kill you first.”

The lights suddenly go out and Lucifer and Chloe get themselves to cover. Bodies start dropping left and right, “What the hell is happening?” says Chloe. “Maze is happening,” grins Lucifer. “Your bartender is a ninja? Of course she is,” replies Chloe. Lucifer starts pointing out her attacks “Shattered tibia. Ooh, ouch! Orbital fracture! Humerus crunch!” The Latin Kings are left with Dani standing, she turns to run from Maze, but Chloe is right behind her! Nasal bridge crush! “Ass saved. You’re welcome,” says Maze. “His ass, not yours,” shes says to Chloe as she leaves.

Everyone is being arrested, including Viper, Detective Dan has found a gun matching the one used in the shooting in Viper’s things. Chloe tells Lucifer she’s figured out his favours, it’s about power, makes him feel superior, in control. “It’s like you have some kind of God complex,” she tells him. “I most certainly do not,” replies Lucifer, offended. “By doing Benny that favour, you damned Viper to prison twice, whether he is guilty on not,” Chloe says.

Chloe doesn’t believe in her gut that Viper is their man, and tries to find out what is really happening. Lucifer says to Viper “You’ve already wasted so much of your life, what do you desire to do with the rest of your time on Earth?” “All I wanna do is my art”, he replies, “I swear I didn’t shoot up Benny’s show. If I hated him so much, why would I bother to go after him and miss?” “Oh, he’s got a point actually. To pop off in a crowd like that and not hit anyone, he’d have to be the worst shot in the world,” says Lucifer. “Or the best”, replies Chloe. She pops a big U-turn and heads back into the city. “Steady on, Detective!”.

At Benny’s studio, Lucifer tells him “If there’s one thing the Devil abhors, it’s a fake”. “I’m all about authenticity,” replies Benny. Lucifer tells Benny he knows that Viper took the fall after he got him off his charge, and brings Viper in to confront him. Benny tells Viper he missed him, “I wish I could have done more.” “Well, framing him for shooting up your fashion show sure didn’t help!” says Lucifer. Chloe says they know that Viper was always the real talent, and Benny was threatened by his release and decided to take him out first.

“How could I have staged that frame job?” asks Benny, “How could I have pointed that gun at myself?”. “Because you didn’t pull the trigger,” replies Chloe, “So many bullets fired into that crowd, how did no one get hit?” wonders Lucifer. That takes precision shooting, and they noticed previously that Hector has a Marine’s tattoo. A tattoo only worn by the best snipers, and shooting into a crowd is a felony by the way, Hector old boy.

“Benny made me do it!” says Hector, “I’ll testify, man. He told me he’d make me a partner but then he made me plant the gun on Viper. And kill Pig Diddy. I loved that pig, man,” he sobs. “Awww, well the good news is while all dogs go to heaven, you’d be surprised how many pigs are waiting for you in hell,” says Lucifer. Benny starts in on Viper, but Lucifer intervenes and throws him through one of his own paintings. Then shows him his true face.

After the arrests, Chloe’s Lieutenant gives a triumphant press conference, “She’s gonna be Chief of Police because of you. I don’t know how you do it,” Chloe says. “I simply made good on a favour. This time I called in my IOU. She got what she wanted, and I got what I wanted. I am now an official civilian consultant to the LAPD,” says Lucifer. “Not that there’s anything civil about the Devil, what fun would that be?” “Okay, you win, we’re partners,” says Chloe. She tells him she accepts it, and at least she can keep her eye on him now. Lucifer gets all excited about the closeness of it all, and she lets him think she’s into it too. Then gets in the car, locks it and drives off and leaves him there. “Well, that’s just marvellous isn’t it?” says Lucifer.

Back at Lux, Lucifer tells Maze that she was right, he needs to be more careful. “I almost got our pet detective killed,” he says. “Whatever the danger, I’ll be there to stop it”, Maze replies, “Whether you see it coming or not.”

At Chloe’s later that night, she is asleep in front of the fire in her armchair. Maze enters the room, and we briefly see her true face in a mirror as she creeps up on Chloe. Chloe wakes with a start, feeling like someone has been in the room with her, but Maze is gone.