Ahoy! Below Deck Mediterranean is back almost mid-season, I don't mind telling you that I am NOT HAPPY with the decisions made last time, how about you? Rolling into my recap of Below Deck Med S6:E08 At Your Lack Of Service after the break!
So last time we thought we were seeing the end of chef Mathew Shea and getting the adorable Chef Luka but NO, Captain Sandy Yawn changed her mind and kept Mat after all.
Look, I'd never want to mess with anyone's ability to earn a living, no matter how big a jackass they are, but if he says one more goddamn thing about sex parties, I can not be held responsible for my reaction.
And I'm super pro-sex! Shake your rocks off however you want with whomever you want; I'm super pro-consenting adults doing whatever they like with their wobblies. I would never ever EVER like to hear about Mat's experiences thankyouverymuchnoreallypleaseandthankyou.
Anyway, last episode was more about a couple of other crew members; sadly we're still focusing quite a lot on Lexi Wilson who is determined to Cruella-deVil everyone. She's managed a whole day of calm and everyone has forgiven her BUT her.
Lloyd Spencer got into a sad vibe during the crew night out; he started reliving some of his worst memories from his last job: the worst job of his life. Even though he's 90% straight, his former boss used to use only homophobic slurs to address him, he ended up bawling his eyes out while being hugged by a bunch of bisexual coworkers, awww. Be well, Lloyd, you're lovely and a 90/10 split means you barely even have to change your dating profile.
Okay, well, even though Lexi spent an entire night screaming in his face, looks like deckhand David Pascoe has gotten over it.
He just got shot down in flames by his boss bosun Malia White who just wants to be single and is busy and just having fun and all those things mean: you don't measure up, David, even if you smell nice (everyone says so).
Everything is winding down for the evening, which is a good thing considering we've got guests coming in 11 hours! Third steward Courtney Veale and deckhand Mzi 'Zee' Dempers are still going strong, she's adorable and he's in love and I sure hope things work out for these two.
I mean, we know they can't but still.
Zee sources some leftover meatloaf while Courtney attempts to pass out on the wrong bunk bed. David decides to 'help' her, banging her head off walls and just about dropping her in his attempt to move her up a level. I think she should probably be close to the ground right now, yes?
Malia leaves Courtney in her bed to sleep, which she regrets in the morning as Courtney puked in the night, in Malia's bed.
4 hours to charter!!
Lloyd is feeling overwhelmed at the support he received the night before; that's a lot to share with people you don't know well but a good sign for how he feels about his place in the team.
Courtney goes looking for Zee in the morning, their drunken alter-egos Chloe and Maverick did it again!
For the record: Zee doesn't have to be drunk to want to kiss and carry on with Courtney, he just has to be awake. And probably not even fully awake at that. They do a really cute comparison side by side showing them talking about each other, both ending with "we'll seeeeee" awwww.
Now this is odd, Captain Sandy calls Malia, Mat and chief steward Katie Flood to the crew mess for our Preference Sheet Meeting (which I LOVE) but it's about two hours to go time, you can't plan and provision in that amount of time. ARE PREFERENCE SHEET MEETINGS A SHAM???
I don't care, I still love them but now I will be sighing mournfully at this pantomime.
Ooooo we have repeater guests, I love that! Jennifer and Patrick Kirk are the guests....why do I remember that name...I recapped it here: Below Deck Med S4:E15 and Below Deck Med S4:E16 but I remember very little, even re-reading. Huh. They drank a lot, but literally every charter does that.
This time the Kirks want their own Oktoberfest aboard the Lady Michelle woooooo! That sounds fun! Mat wants leiderhosen because that's the kind of thing you can source in the middle of the ocean in Croatia in one hours' time.
Mat and Katie call their provisioners then Katie takes her crew aside to explain the schedule for this charter. Third steward Courtney will be on evening service as Katie thinks drunk guests = a good opportunity to gain some service confidence. Lexi will be on breakfast shift, laundry and housekeeping. Katie is determined to keep things fluid with her crew, but it's stressing Lexi out who thinks her second stew status should keep her on service always.
Here's our partiers already!
Oh hai Chad, our inflatable and wearable friend.
Courtney really likes the "ALCOHOL NOW" shirts the men are wearing until she thinks about it.
Time for the boat tour wooooooo! I love the boat tours although Katie always seems more apologetic than the open disdain Hannah Ferrier's used to project towards her guests. Katie realises she's in trouble when the guests tell her they drank 69 bottles of alcohol in 7 days.
But like...what do they remember of any of this? I mean, you can get plastered for $7 in the comfort of your own home, should obliteration be all you want. That makes me think of the book "Nothing Good Can Come From This" by Kristi Coulter, wherein she and her friends would buy more and more expensive alcohol as subterfuge, avoiding the whole "can't not drink" thing.
The guests chitter chatter and compare champagne glasses as Mat digs into food prep and Captain Sandy undocks with Malia and her crew's help. Actually Malia takes us out to sea, look how pretty??
**I'm not going anywhere ever again. You know how likely it is there will be a lockdown and I won't be able to get back to my bubble and my Dwight? IT'S SO LIKELY.
Lexi introduces herself as Second Stew (definitely with the capital letters) to the guests then immediately fucks off downstairs to laundry as directed by Katie, who's somehow forgot she has a bunch of raging drinkers upstairs left unattended with empty glasses. Courtney's setting the table for the second hour, these guests go looks for drinkies: they need their Tito's and Tea, damnit!
The guys can't even wait for Katie to make it up the stairs, they come down as she's walking up so they can get their T&Ts.
Lunch is served; Courtney loooooves being on service, she wants to stay out there all the time. 'Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"
Lloyd has completely relaxed; I'm so glad everyone seems to understand his jokes, they're mystifying to me but I am old.
That's him dropping anchor...
We're in the middle of the ocean, it's beautiful, lunch was delicious and there's a slide into the ocean to test out wooooo!
I wish they still had the critter free pool, that's exactly how I'd feel comfortable in the ocean and I understand that is a character flaw.
Side note: Malia is not good with the guests, is she? She doesn't come across as genuine or sincere, just standoffish and a bit rude. I can't put my finger on it.
As the guests enjoy the jetskis, a police boat approaches the Lady Michelle. I wonder if they were skiing too close to shore; I couldn't gauge 300 meters even without 400 Tito's and Teas in my face.
It's just a warning, though, one of the guests was givin' 'er too close to shore and speeding. Booooo who knew you could speed on a jetski??
The guests retire to the massive hot tub to drink some more, Katie goes for lunch, Courtney serves ever more Tito's handmade vodka mixed with canned peach iced tea (barf) and Lexi contemplates the lack of respect implied by hiding her in the laundry like CINDERELLA.
It's a lovely evening for an 8:30 PM dinner on deck (I am getting ready for bed at that time, fr), the guests look beautiful and Courtney is learning how to make so many different drinks with Tito's! (I feel like Tito's owes at least Bravo some dough after this trip and I'll take my cut at the end, ta). Lexi has been very, very quiet, I'm legit worried for her mental state. She. May not be well adjusted just yet.
The first course is well received; yummy cauliflower soup with basil oil and a huge parmesan crisp. Katie sends Courtney down to help Lexi with cabins after, but Lexi radios to say she's done everything.
Courtney checks the VIP cabin, calling Katie down to help / show her what Lexi didn't do. Meanwhile, the guests are pouring themselves wine, honestly. Katie may be lovely but she forgets these guys a LOT.
They absolutely love the food, though, asking for Mat to join them after supper to discuss Oktoberfest. Mat's on his game and cooking great food, the best Primary Patrick has ever had in his whole life.
The deck team plans a beer game for the party then the guests quietly head off to bed and Malia works herself over with her personal massager.
Lloyd gets to drive the boat in the morning, Captain Sandy does love to give people chances to learn. Lexi is supposed to be doing breakfast but has taken 30 minutes to get someone their tea order, oh yeah they were counting.
Katie gets up but heads to the laundry room because she still hasn't learned: do not trust what Lexi says about the guests or her cleaning. Instead, she should be checking on them straight away, does she just not have enough of that boss energy? Someone needs to be in charge and making sure everything is as it should be.
Like are there plates on the table? Nope! Lexi is super off her game, that's not fair to anyone else, especially the rest of her team.
But you know, she is part of the team, maybe she can pull it together by talking about what's wrong. Lexi didn't set the table but she had lots of time to take pictures of the sunrise, thanks Producers, so maybe it's just a priorities thing. I think her head's not innit right now.
Captain Sandy finds a bee in her bonnet about that stupid awesome slide. It's got a leak so has to be pumped up after each time someone goes down it. She's up there getting mad, Malia doesn't really wanna hear it. The whole deck crew haaates the slide, I think that's why Captain Sandy accuses them of negligence. Nope, just a slow leak and one single pump on one big superyacht.
Hangry is the real reason Malia snaps.
They make up, it's fine.
Oktoberfest Olympics time wooooooo!
I could never chug that much beer, these guests are MACHINES!
Lexi told everyone the cabins were done, guess who actually left her cleaning caddy in the guest room and never came back? Is she...high?
Captain Sandy tells Katie not to give up, honestly, someone needs to get Katie on Instagram Reels to listen to those hot guys swear and talk about not taking less than you deserve.
Yay, the deck/crew put in quarantine has cleared so now we could shed some dead weight any time! I don't think we have any dead weight, though and I guess we're keeping the chef and NOT seeing Chef Luka, so FINE.
Huh. Well, previews show a haggard looking Lexi being yelled at by a crying Katie for being lazy and a new redhaired crew member coming aboard so shut my mouth. Until next time! Cheers!